Yo!

My name is Tyler and I'm a comedian or whatever.

 

What a lovely winter we’re having this spring.

I’m alive. I know almost none of you were worried. I want a divorce.

Woke up today and it still wasn’t summer. Thanks Obama.

Lot’s has happened since last time I posted. I got out of bed. 

I always finish TV shows within like 5 days with nextflix and become so caught up in them that I feel like I know the characters and get kind of depressed when I watch the last episode in the series. It’s like meeting someone on vacation and getting really close to them in that short period of time, and then saying good bye on the last day at the airport, in the pouring rain, knowing you’ll never see each other again. I’m really high.

I had a heat stroke today, I mean technically I dropped it like its hot.

So I did this filter with this photo and I came out looking like a creature from Willy Wonka.  

So I did this filter with this photo and I came out looking like a creature from Willy Wonka.  

1. I think I’m hot

2. Senior pic

3. Roast beef

4. Pregnancy scare

Which caption matches which picture?

My God is nothing like your God.

Back in my day “she want’s the D” meant “she wants a Date.”

I had a dream last night I saw my best friends breast and then they turned into a turkey wattle and everyone called her turkey tits but she owned it. She had the hottest turkey tits in town. 

I’m going to name my first daughter Crystal. 

Meth for short. 

Shyeah, you should see the other guy. And by other guy I mean the floor because I fainted from a nosebleed.

Shyeah, you should see the other guy. And by other guy I mean the floor because I fainted from a nosebleed.